Sick Sick Sick

Louis is the type of person who never gets sick. I can only remember a few times since we've been married that he has been sick. This weekend Lou got sick! Louis caught a bug from someone at school. I think it is more than a bug though. Lou on Friday actually didn't go to work. That is huge for Lou, Lou never ever misses work. It made for an extra long weekend which would have been nice if he wasn't sick. We basically stayed home all weekend and tried to recover. I got a little sick too, 2 sick parents with 2 little kids is never fun but thankfully Josh napped wonderfully like always and Kira napped and in the mornings she watched Dora movies while we napped. I was happy that we actually we're able to nap while one of our kids was up, I never dreamed that that day would ever get here.
That event (sleeping while Kira was awake) caused me to think a lot. I cannot picture my kids being older than they are right now. It's hard for me to picture Kira going to school (even though that's 2.5 years away) It's hard for me to picture having no kids in diapers (although that's a good dream) and it's hard for me to picture my kids not needing me all day long. I don't have the serving type of personality. I've tried really hard to improve on that and being a mom you kind of get pushed into the deep end of service. I however grew up in a home where my Mom did everything for me. My sisters and I joke all the time how when we'd be siting at the kitchen table and ask our Mom to get us a drink. We sat closer to the fridge but my mom never hesitated to get us a drink or whatever else we needed. My mom loves to serve people. I am learning to love to serve. Adjusting to being a mom was quite difficult for me. I was used to doing whatever I wanted when I wanted. All of the sudden a newborn comes into your life and that completely changes. I remember crying shortly after Kira was born, I was getting her dressed after changing her diaper. I remember thinking I have to change this girl every day for the rest of my life. I know that's not true but at the time that was my reality. I imagine the Post Pardum Depression made things seem a lot worse than they really were but my adjustment to motherhood was hard. I've been blessed with kids who sleep long and well very early on in life. I think that is the only thing that kept my sane the first months possibly first years of their lives. My kids are very good easy going kids yet the adjustment was still very hard. I still have moments were I think, am I really a Mom, how can I be a Mom? I often wonder if those thoughts will ever leave? I love my children, and I am glad that they are mine. I love that I am able to stay home with them. I realize that I live a dream life for a lot of people who don't get to stay home. With all these blessings though the trials still come. Life has been pretty good lately. The kids get more independent all the time, I have more time to myself all the time yet motherhood is still an adjustment for me every day.