The Crying Song

We smile and smile
We smile and smile
Laughter echoes in your eyes
We climb and climb
We climb and climb
Footfall softly in the pines
We cry and cry
We cry and cry
Sadness passes in a while
We role and role
We role and role
Help me role away the stone 

My brother Michael died yesterday of an over-dose. When my Dad called to tell me I thought I was fine. My brother (really my half brother my Dad was married before he met my Mom and had 3 kids) is 16 years older than me.  He was grown and out of the house for all of my life that I can remember. My Dad and Michael had a rocky relationship which lead to us not really seeing Michael all that much growing up. 

Although Michael was not a daily part of my life ever he still is my brother and I mourn his loss because I love him. You don't have to see someone every day or really know a person all that well to love them.  It hurts I feel more pain for my Dad and my other brother and my sister, Sandi, who were much closer to Michael than I was. 

Michael was special, I will always remember him surprising everyone at a Field Family Reunion, showing up in his Navy suit. He looked so cute and I being six or seven at the time was so proud that he was my older brother. That's my most vivid memory of Michael. 

The lyrics to the Crying Song by Pink Floyd is what I feel in my heart right now.  I remember the good times with Michael, laughing having fun. Now we're sad but the sadness will pass and we as a family need to help roll the stone along.