How Blogilates Changed My Life

I feel like I have been pretty open on this blog about my thyroid problems. For the last few years they have not impacted my life like they had the previous five or so years. I feel like the dosage of medicine that the doctor has me on is just perfect. I am beyond grateful that I have a doctor who listens to me the patient and my symptoms and not just the results of the yearly blood work. I am also grateful that my doctor is still my doctor even though we moved to Boise. Before we moved that was one of my biggest concerns, how will I find another understanding doctor. I talked to my doctor and he said oh yeah I treat people all over the country. It will be no problem to keep you as a patient.  Now I just worry about when he retires. Anyway. I haven't been as tired or sick. I haven't been as depressed with my thyroid functioning as it should the last few years. I hadn't however felt like previous thyroid/pre-kids Diana though. That is until this past year.

At the end of May I sent a simple text to our cousin Karli. Karli is an amazing health coach. I said can you help me feel healthy/better. She said of course. We texted about how I felt and what we could do to help. She suggested I eat healthier (her maintaining phase if I were on a diet program). I asked her about exercise also. I asked about something I could do at home. She suggested Blogilates. I had never heard of Blogilates. I looked it up and was instantly interested. I started that very day. (That is the day Lou and I started running also) Cassey Ho started Blogilates.

Over the last seven or so months of doing Blogilates six times a week I feel like Cassey is my personal friend. Blogilates starts with a beginner calendar. All the workouts are from Cassey and they are all on Youtube. The first day I thought wow this is great but maybe too easy. The second day I thought nope not too easy. I have never consistently stuck with an exercise program like I have Blogilates. I have only missed a few days because of the flu. I have missed 4 days total in 7 months. I love it that much. So for 30 days you do the beginners calendar. It gets you used to her workouts. Everyday a workout is focused on a different part of the body but you whole body gets a workout. Its not just old late pilates. It is so much more. After the 30 days you do the regular workouts. She sends out a monthly calendar. You can also find playlists of her daily workouts on youtube. Usually workouts are anywhere between 45 minutes to 75 minutes. I have never had a better workout, not classes at the gym, working out on treadmills/ellipticals, not even that summer I did power yoga (which I still love). Blogilates has changed my life.

Blogilates has given my energy that was lost due to my thyroid. It has given me confidence. It has made me happy with my body. I have muscles on my abs! My legs are stronger. I am stronger. I feel like I am me again. It has made me happy. The healthy eating has helped that too. I have not done as well as I like with that over November and December but I'm okay with that. I still did my Blogilates. I look forward to doing my Blogilates everyday (rest day on Sunday). I am so glad  to have found an exercise program (for free!!!) that I love, will actually do and has results.

Hello, Tuesday

Hello, Tuesday.

Hello to the real first day of the week, holiday Mondays don't count.
Hello to the first week of September, one of the best months of the year.
Hello to the first Activity Days for Kira in our new ward.

Hello to a rainy and cloudy day, full of reading Catching Fire and watching Parenthood.
Hello to Lou coming home for lunch.
Hello to catching up on journal writing.

Hello to the second week of school.
Hello to a temple date with Lou this week.
And hello to hopefully many new Boise adventures.

Hello Monday

Hello, Monday
Hello to another week of being happily married yet singly attempting motherhood.
Hello to the last of Kira's business, Matilda is the last of her activities still carrying on goodbye dance and Show Stoppers for the season.
Hello to Kira's cute pink polkadot capri's I wish they came in my size.
Hello to fun afternoons after school instead of homework with little Josh.
Hello to signing our contract for our Boise house
Hello to never knowing what day it really is, thank you sales clerk at Michael's who wished me a happy weekend today to add to my confusion.

Inner Peace

There is so much on my mind. I don't usually blog in the middle of the day but I just felt the need to write.  Today was the first day in almost a month that I went to the gym. Between the holidays, going out of town, Lou being home and more than anything the SNOW I had been terrible about going from Christmas break until now.

Welcome back to my world, gym

I loved the energy I felt as I was running on the elliptical and working the machines that work my core and thighs. I felt empowered. I have control over my body, it does NOT have control over me. I will not allow my thyroid to rule my life its MY life not my thyroids life!

I will go back to my routine of going to the gym every weekday. It brings me life, it brings me happiness it makes me feel like me.

I feel like I am finally getting into a place where I am emotionally and mentally ready to move from Provo. The idea of moving has been a continuous battle in my heart and mind.  There's excitement that comes from thinking about having a new house, meeting new people, living in a new state. There is also however the worry that comes from thinking about leaving the place and people I love, leaving my home.

Today as I was playing the piano (another activity that I need to do daily to feel like me) I felt a surge of peace overcome me.  I knew everything would be OK. I was gently reminded that my Heavenly Father loves me, he knows me, Heavenly Father knows and loves Lou, Kira and Josh also. Heavenly Father and the Savior will continue to be with me and my family when we move. I know they will love me just as much in Idaho as they have in Utah.

I also had the thought that I can do anything with Lou by myside.  I am blessed I get to take my best friend along with me in this move. When I start worrying and panicing (because I will) I will pause and remember the feeling of peace I experienced this afternoon.

Making Life Count

Its Christmastime! And well it was 60° today, hardly feeling like the end of November.  I want it to cool off but I know I'll regret saying this when winter strikes for reals.

Lou was home for five glorious days!  We had lots of fun, the kids were out of school during his entire visit.  Josh was so excited for Lou to be home, that when Lou got home late Tuesday night, and went down to see Josh, Josh popped right out of bed ready to play!

We did lots together and I realized how much I missed being all together as a family.

 At this time of year I miss my parents and my sisters.  So I get to miss them and Lou this year. My family was all together for Thanksgiving. I realized I haven't been with my family on Thanksgiving since the year I returned home from my mission. Geez that's a crazy long time. Thanksgiving was always so fun growing up, one of my favorite holidays, its weird not to have that anymore and haven't had that for 13 years.

We went up to Jeff and Leann's.  There was lots of people there.  I love his cousins who came so it was great chatting with them. Kira and Josh had fun playing with their cousins, Claire and Jane.

Thanksgiving is over, Lou is gone again and not quite sure when he'll be home again. Hopefully one visit before his Christmas visit.

Life really isn't complete without Lou at home.  Its like we're able to live day-to-day but we aren't able to really live a full life. Its like we are constantly living in limbo, which if you know me well is not me at all.

But to be positive, I love this time of year.  I am determined to be happy and enjoy every moment even with Lou away.  I should make a list so we don't miss out on anything.

This picture is just cute:

Sunshine

Do you ever want to blog but have no idea what to blog about but you remember that you wanted to blog twice a week this year and its already April 1st and that goal isn't going too well?
Its Conference Weekend. I really enjoy it,  I enjoy that my kids are old enough that we can actually listen to what is being said.
Lou worked on the house a ton yesterday and we now have paint on our living room and hallway walls! Its yellow, I'm excited. We (meaning me) were having a lot of trouble choosing colors. I had gotten to the point where I wanted Lou to just choose and call it good.  I decided to look at Better Homes and Garden, Sandi gave me the subscription last year, I got online and looked up some ideas. It was just what I needed.  We were able to pick colors for the entire upstairs that I think will go well together.
We went on a family bike ride yesterday between sessions, Lou on roller blades since he doesn't have a bike. Every year I forget how much I love the Spring.
I will get out everyday that is Spring-like and enjoy the sunshine!

This week:
I will make Rachelle her camera strap cover
I will go on a walk everyday
I will go on a bike ride any day that is warm
I will finish my book "The House at Riverton"

City Creek+

This Friday the kids and I met Lou's parents at City Creek. Its a beautiful place. I can see myself wanting to spend a lot of time up there, too bad its 45 minutes away.

We left right after school (the kids get out at 1:30 p.m. on Friday, I usually have them go to an after school class but didn't have them go this Friday).  I feel like between the Jazz practices I had been to the past 2 week, taking Lou up to Salt Lake to meet Matt for their fishing trip on Thursday,  I was living on I-15.
City Creek is huge with many high-end stores that have never been in Utah and non-high end stores that are new to Utah also. I love that they decided to build it and keep Downtown nice.

Josh, Kira, Leann, and, Jeff on the bridge over Main St.

The first store the kids wanted to visit was the Disney Store. It felt kind of silly waiting in line to go into a store we have at the University Mall, but the kids wanted to so in line we waited. The wait was less than five minutes so it wasn't too bad.  The store was much larger than the University Mall store. It had a movie area, a little castle (that Kira did not want to go into) it was a nice store. The kids were allowed to pick out one toy for being good while Lou was gone present (in the cheap section) so they picked giant pens with multiple color inks( i'll have to get a picture of them they're cute).  The only thing that would have been nicer if there was organization to there checkout line. At the Disney Store in our mall at Christmas time they do it real nice, they should have used them same practices at City Creek.

Josh loving Pluto

We also went to Godiva Chocolates, Macy's, Papyrus, Deseret Book and enjoyed just people watching. I want to go to more stores like Tiffany's and H&M's I think I will when I am up in Salt Lake for a Jazz practice.

Leann and Jeff watched the kids for us Friday night, I had to work and Lou was on his fishing adventure with Matt and Kyler. It was weird driving home by myself and knowing I would be home alone without Lou and the kids. I mean I am all the time when they are at work and school it was just different since it would be for the night.  I-15 construction is so terrible right now. It took me over an hour to get home on Friday night and then on Saturday after picking up the kids from Salt Lake it took me 1hr and 40 minutes!!!

The hour and 40 minute drive was awful, I was sick sick with a tummy ache and my legs aching.  I thought it was food positioning but it was just a bug. I was sick the rest of the day and part of today. The kids did a great job taking care of me with Lou gone, they even called my Mom :)  Lou got home around 9:00ish it was so good to see him though I fell asleep about 10 mins after he got home. Then today I stayed home from church since I was still sick, napped most of the day, so it feels like I've hardly seen him.

I am feeling better though my stomach is still a little sensitive.  I'm excited for this week because we are finally painting the upstairs. Its been a long process and there is still work to do after painting but paint, yay!

And last and total random. So I've been re-watching The Office on Netflix, as my background show, while cleaning, laundry etc.  I have made it to season six.  This whole season I have just hated Pam. Pam's attitude is too much for me,  her hatred towards Michael while Michael is dating her mother is awful.  It seems like once she was married she was so full or herself, not the nice Pam Beasley we all love. Anyways I know this is so topical as season six is a few years old but wow is she annoying. So I thought I wonder if anyone else feels this way and yep you can always find something on the internet. this guy apparently doesn't like season six Pam either.

Happy Valentine's Day and Happy Birthday Sharon!

This cracked me up it is found here   (shout out to Charlotte for finding these and posting them on her blog)

For Jazz fans



My Jazz BFF is the creator of this, more can be found here.

And Cougar fans



And for old time's sake



I hope everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day!  I love this day so much. I love the idea of celebrating love. My Mom always made it so special for us.  My mom and Mary was so good at making it special for our whole family and making it special for Sharon's birthday.  We always got thoughtful gifts and treats.

Speaking of Sharon. I love you, Sharon!  You are such a wonderful sister and friend. the only problem I have with you is that you live across the country from me!  I wish I could see you everyday :)

1. Thanks for always including me even when I was a shy little kid.
2. Thanks for always making me feel like I was cool like you.
3. Thanks for coming out when I had Kira and Josh even though you had little kids of your own to take care of.
4. Thanks for helping me learn to love myself.
5. Thanks for always doing my hair on special occasions when we were teens
6. Thanks for introducing me to Lost
7. Thanks for being such a good aunt to my kids.
8. Thanks for being a great sister-in-law to Lou
9. Thanks for always having fun even when all we do for hours is watch Gilmore Girls and play Skipbo on our DS Lites.
10. Thanks for helping me strengthen my testimony when we were young adults by reading your scriptures and listening to Jon Schmidt.
11. Thanks for serving a mission which greatly influenced me to go on a mission
12. Thanks for playing "Up in the Sky" with me
13. Thanks for sharing a Walkman with me in the backseat while driving to California and across country
14. Thanks for the mixed tapes
15. Thanks for our across the country sharing of Minute Maid Fruit Punch
16. Thanks for playing your violin while I played the piano
17. Thanks for playing school with me
18. Thanks for playing "Small World" with me
19. Thanks for our long phone conversations
20. Thanks for our short phone conversations
21. Thanks for knowing me so well and still loving me
22. Thanks for letting me live with you and Rich for those few weeks before I went back to BYU
23. Thanks for driving me to St. George to see Sandi when I had no car
24. Thanks for always being so happy
25. Thanks for introducing me and lou to the Boccie ball
26. Thanks for making me feel apart of your extended Finlinson family
27. Thanks for traveling to Utah every year.
28. Thanks for showing me what a cool store Target is
29. Thanks for introducing me to so much of the music I like.
30  Thanks for listening to me about all my silly worries throughout my life
31. Thanks for your example of following your dreams (Soleil Kids)
32. Thanks for always make me feel like a daily part of your life despite living thousands of miles away
33. Thanks for pretending to speak French with me at Newport Beach
34. Thanks for sharing a room with me the first 12 years of my life.
35. Thanks for always being a year older than me so when I turn an age I know you have already been that age and rocked it,  so I don't feel that old.
36. Thanks so much for being an awesome awesome sister and friend!

Yay me!

I went to bed at midnight, woke up at 7:30 with the kids. Got them off to school, read a Conference Talk, sang some hymns for my morning study, did a Neflix Pilates workout and showered all before 10:30 a.m.!
I am sooo cool!

Recap of what is going on with us.

So I haven't been great in my goal of blogging twice a week but lets start anew. I really want to do it so i am not going to get down on myself and say well you didn't do it January  so why do it, I will do it now :)

I am feeling a ton better. I had a version of strep that would NOT end.  It is nice to be able to eat and drink  and talk again. Things that are going on:

• I gave my two weeks notice to my after-school job about a week ago.  This week is my last week. It just proved to be too much.  I didn't like having something everyday right after school. It was hard. I liked the people I worked with, I liked the kids (most of the time) but it was just too much since working at the Daily Herald.  Also I want to give more attention to my own kids during those few hours that they are awake and home. (it was from 3:15-4:30 every day and two hours on Friday).  Josh especially needs my attention so I would nearly spend all my time helping Joshy with his homework which is fine but I did feel bad not having the time to help other kids with their homework.  Also it could get loud which made it hard for Josh to focus on his work. Somtimes we'd have about 12 kids in the class, thats too much for me. Also with my weak immune system since my thyroid issues I don't want to be getting sick all the time.
• Joshy's teacher is worried about his progression in reading.  Josh is doing fine in math and everything else 1st graders do but his reading is behind.  Josh has always been behind in things, he didn't walk until he was 17 months hardly talked at all until he was about 2 1/2 etc.  I want to spend more time with him and his reading, I think being home doing homework will help with that.   Josh flips his words and letters still which his teacher says shouldn't really be happening anymore. Josh still has trouble blending sounds.  Its kind of frustrating because sometimes he does so well and other times not so much. His teacher says it is more common for left-handers to struggle or have a learning disability in the language arts so they are going to test Josh.  It has me worried but since he does fine in everything else its not like there is anything majorly wrong with him.
• Kira is obsessed with basketball, playing it.  she told me yesterday while walking around the mall that she WILL play for the BYU cougars someday, so she practices basketball with the boys one recess and plays with her friends the other recess. There is a little boy in our ward, Jesse Clark that she loves playing with, they often play after school at the church.
• Kira is getting really good on the piano, she is learning chords and can play in the key of G (one sharp) and the Key of F (one flat).  I am really proud of her progress.
• Lou is still working on our house. It is taking so much longer than I thought but he is doing a great job, I need to be grateful that he can do it on his own and we don't have to pay anyone to do it.
• I am developing the habit of staying up late after I get home from work which causes me to be tired in the morning and going back to sleep after the kids leave for school. I need to stop that I hate wasting my mornings. On Thursday and Friday though I did wake up and stayed up and I got so much done. 
• We've been better about family scripture study. I love the comments the kids make, I need to start writing them down, because none are coming to mind right now.

So a quick recap of whats going on with us.

Still Sick

Ugh thats all I can really say is ugh. I am so tired of being sick. I hate that since having my thyroid issues I get sick more often and it just stays around. Its dumb and I am tired of it and I hate it.
I am still where I can barely get off the couch but I am a mother and I have responsibilities so how can I stay on the couch longer than I have already been (nearly a week) . I test myself and do little stuff during the day but i feel so weird when I am up for too long. My throat still hurts but not nearly as bad, I can now eat soup, juice and softer foods, so yay for eating again.
I am grateful for lou, doing so much for the kids, keeping the house clean because he knows I'd be even more stressed if the house was a mess.
So all I do is watch Netflix, tweet, facebook and whatever else from the computer. I hate it. Today I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom (my normal Monday routine) but it was hard to get done. Hopefully this ends soon and I can start being me again.

strep

boooo, I have strep. My throat hurts really bad it started over the weekend and yesterday and today I can barely swallow. I thought I better go check it out because it seriously feels like someone is taking a knife and scraping it against the back of my throat. I went to to the doctor and yep I have strep.

so hopefully I'll get some rest, take my antibiotics and nip this thing in the bud!

waiting

I hate waiting for things. I feel like I am waiting on more things I should be waiting on normally. Lou and I decided that since he didn't get the floors done before our California trip that he should paint and replace doors and wood work stuff before finishing the floors. Lets just say I am not ok with chaos or messes or things in wrong places and well when you can have NOTHING on one floor of your house (except the kitchen and bathroom for now) and you are all living temporarily with all of your possessions in the basement, well it causes me stress. I know Lou is a hard worker and does what he can but it just doesn't seem to be happening fast enough!

I am waiting on a job that I interviewed for at the Daily Herald. I didn't mention it before because if I don't get it well whats the point of bringing it up but I am so tired of waiting to find out. the interview I felt went well, I had it two weeks ago. I am really prepared either way but just the waiting.

Silly I know but reading all the rumors about BYU to the Big 12 and now finding out that TCU was invited and still no "official word" on BYU makes me tired of not knowing. I am not even that concerned about it, I like Independence for BYU for the most part but the waiting.   And of course the NBA lockout waiting on that to end (though surprisingly enough I've hardly missed it)

Lets just hope that some of this waiting can end soon!

Nothing New

a picture of me and Josh when he was about a month old

I have nothing new to report, nothing much as been going on since Sharon left. We did get her kids for the day on Saturday. It was so fun, we walked to Diagon Alley (Day's) went to Hogsmeade (Riverwoods) came back to Hogwarts (home) and had a feast, which included Butterbeer! The kids had so much fun, they all get a long so well, the girls playing school or Harry Potter and the boys playing the Wii.

This past week has been really quiet compared to most of the summer.  We haven't gone anywhere (except registration at the school on Monday) and really haven't done much.  I think I'm feeling a little tired of the summer, I just want Fall here already.  We do have a Mandi Allen's (Lou's cousin) wedding this weekend so that will be fun, and then Joshy's birthday on Tuesday but other than that nothing much is going on.

I think I am a little sad.  A few weeks ago I applied for a job at BYU as a part-time academic adviser. It seemed like the perfect job, its something I always wanted to do, the hours worked perfectly with the kids school schedule, it just seemed perfect. I applied and found out the next day I had an interview. I prepared so valiantly for the interview, I studied their website, recalled my counseling experiences in Grad school, I prayed and studied the scriptures, I don't think I could have been more prepared.  The interview went perfectly, I wasn't as nervous as I usually am in situations like that, they all seemed to like me, I felt peace. The next day I received a call saying they wanted to bring me in for the final round of interviews.  Again things went great. I wouldn't find out for a week whether I got it or not. All week I felt peace. Lou and I fasted about it, we went to the temple (not specifically for that but it helped) I couldn't imagine myself without the job.  On Friday at 4:03 I found out they chose someone else.  Lou keeps reminded me the Lord is in charge and there must be a reason I didn't get the job. I am more sad because last year I was so happy being home, but now after applying for that job and getting so far in the progress it seems like something is missing and I need to find it.

Last Day to be 33!

Tomorrow is my birthday!  I love my birthday. Lou on the other hand doesn't think birthdays are very big deals , he and his brother Mark talk about how well we didn't do anything to get born, so why is it special.

Lou does know however that I love it so he treats me very special and spoils me on my birthday and basically all week before my birthday! I am like Loralei for all my Gilmore Girl loving friends I love to celebrate all week before my birthday, seriously it only comes once a year just to celebrate you why not enjoy it!

33 was a good age for me.   Some highlights

• We bought our first house bonus its in a FANTASTIC neighborhood!
• Josh started Kindergarten so that means I am home a lone all day.  I never thought that day would come when I had Kira nearly seven years ago. 
• Many ups and downs with my thyroid.   I have though for the last few months have felt better than I have since before being pregnant with Kira!
• I am the assistant troop leader for Kira's Girl Scout troop.  I love it because I get to see my friend Alyssa every week, one of my all time favorite people!
• I got a job at the bookstore.  
• Got to see my sister and spend time with her,  when I'm 34 I'll spend time with her in Florida :)
• I became an aunt again, when Roman was born and found out my three sister-in-law are pregnant and due in July, August and September! 
• Spent a lot of time with good friends and have a new tradition of Glee Night with Robin and Rachelle!
• Robin, Bridget and I still have bookclub although we changed it to "Smokin' Hot Sweet Chicks Night" since Robin discovered she isn't a reader and Bridget has four kids, countless pets and is now home schooling her kids!  
• I love Blogger Book Club, I still get a chance to read and discuss a book and chat with such cool girls. 
• Lou and I started our service mission last Monday.  I have a missionary tag again its cool!  Lou is now Elder Allen as a missionary which is awesome since he didn't get to do that at 19.
• I discovered I love being busy but not so busy I don't get my quiet alone time. 
• I lost an uncle who I love.  We miss you Uncle Bob.
• I got to see and renew a friendship with my cousin Tiffany when she and her cute kids came out for Bob's funeral.
• Got a piano from Lou's aunt and uncle
• lots of walking to and from Edgemont Elementary 
• discovered work out videos on Netflix
• went to a movie by myself for the first time in my life (HP 7)
• Made new friends in my new ward
• Fell in love with Jimmer like the rest of the nation (though I liked him clear when he was coming off the bench when he was a Freshman)
• Saw my Jazz team make more changes in a month than they have in twenty years
• discovered many new yummy recipes (curry chicken, buffalo chicken dip, bread machine recipe, oatmeal cookies are among the top)
• didn't leave the state of Utah :(
• Seen my kids grow by leaps and bounds.  Especially Joshy coming out of his shell and Kira' learning French and piano
• Fallen more and more in love with Lou!

Alright probably more than you wanted to read but I really did love being 33 and there is probably more that happened that I just can't think of right now :)

Oh Sweet the Joy ...

In our ward we sing GREAT hymns. I love it. After living in a ward for six years with  the same Sacrament meeting chorister who loved to choose the uncommon hymns (so we could learn them she would say) it is so fantastic to be singing all the favorites on Sundays.
For our Sacrament hymn. We sang  "I Know that My Redeemer Lives" this is my most favorite hymn. I remember when I was first discovering my testimony, I'd hear it or sing it and it would solidified my testimony more than words or prayer alone.
Today while singing it and singing the sentence ".. Oh sweet the joy this sentence gives, I know that my Redeemer lives"  the spirit hit me so strong.  I felt such gratitude for my testimony of the Savior. I also felt gratitude that my health is getting better.   It hit me that whoa I am so happy right now, I don't remember in the last few years feeling as happy as I did right then.
God is good. I was promised in a Priesthood blessing from Lou 2 years ago that I would once again be perfectly healthy. Every hard day of health since that blessing, I would think of that promise. I am nearly there. I haven't felt this good in years.  I am happy I can focus, I am feeling thin, I don't experience aches as often. Its so nice, I have been on a new dosage of my meds for 2 months and it seems to be working.

While singing today I felt such gratitude for that blessing and that now over two years later it seems to be coming true.!
*the picture had nothing to do with the post but Joshy is just so cute!

Odds and Ends

• We left our camera at Lou's parents on Christmas Eve haven't been back since. I miss my camera
• I get to keep my temp job. They'll call me when its busy and I'll get "trained" to be a cashier so if students are sick or need their day off I'll be on a sub list they can call. Its perfect for me, I can't do a real part time job right now, but its nice to have the occasional work and money.
• I will work my job until Jan14th then it goes to on call. I am excited to be home more regularly during the day. I miss my alone time, my home, my schedule.
• Kira is into calling friends since school started again. Its really cute to listen to her talk.
• IT Crowd a show me and Lou like has a new season out, I'm excited to watch it tonight with Lou.
• I like living in Provo but often think during the day we're supposed to be somewhere else.

Year in Statuses

really liked this on Facebook.  only bad thing couldn't really chose the statuses used. I think though its a pretty good random recap of our year.

I Need a Julia

While watching the movie Julie and Julia I realized I need a Julia. Now I don't want to become a cook thats not me. I don't want to become narcissistic hopefully thats not me either.

For the last six years I feel as if I have been wondering. I feel like my life has not been my own. Two young kids so close in age can do that to any woman. Add Thyroid problems and IUD problems on top of two young kids and well life is just different.

I am very happy don't get me wrong. I love my family, I love Lou more than words can say. I love my friends. I love my ward. Life is good. I feel however like something is missing. I feel like I need to be doing something that I am not currently doing.

Julie in the movie (based on book, based on real life) felt as she was in a slump in her life. Julie's marriage was great but work wasn't, she didn't particularly like where she lived. Julie wrote a book that didn't get published. Julie had to find something. With the help of her husband Julie started a blog about cooking all the recipes in the Julia Child cookbook. That experience changed Julie.

I need something like that. I want to belong to something or start something or do something where I can serve others yet do something I love.

I love many things. I love the piano, I love sewing (though its costly) I love reading. I love the Jazz. I don't know if my something will come from one of those loves or something else. I am searching though and it will be found.

Yikes!

So I stepped on the scale this morning and nearly had a heart attack. I weighed 7 lbs more than I did just a few days ago. I thought what the crap, how could I possibly gain that much weight and not feel it. To my much pleasant surprise, I noticed when I got off the scale and saw that our scale wasn't on "0" but on "8".