He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout
But Love and I had to wit the win;
WE drew a circle that took him in.
(Edwin Markham, Outwitted)
I woke up early today (7:45) and had an hour before I knew the kids would be up so I decided to read a little. I set a goal last night with Lou to study one gospel topic a week. I thought it would help with whatever I need help with. Sometimes it's hard for me to read straight from the Book of Mormon so I think this will help. I read out of the Teachings of President Hinckley this morning on the topic of Love. I decided that is my topic this week. I'll study in my Hinckley book, Conference talks, Scriptures etc. I just really want to focus on love. I feel that although I have many people in my life that love me but sometimes because of my own personal insecurities (total irrational by the way) I have a hard time receiving and returning love. Sometimes I feel like I am being shut out by people and I know most of it is in my head but sometimes it feels so real to me and I feel lonely and sad. I need to stop having self pity and just be proactive, because like this quote says we'll win if we show love to everyone.
Ok I just revealed way more about myself than I thought I would. I love that quote and it has helped me today already. Kira has been a real stinker lately. She is adjusting to not taking naps. (she is unwilling to take them I didn't take them away) but she is still tired during the day which causes for some break downs. Now Kira has always been really easy going and happy and for most of the day she is but lately (for the last month) she is sooo emotional it is very hard to deal with and I feel at times I am losing all patience with her breakdowns. I want to study love this week so I can have thoughts in my head related to love so when I don't feel that much love towards Kira (when she is having a hard time) I can remember what true love really is and show her the love she obviously needs when she is having a hard time.
7 comments:
Yeah, you'll need to study love when you're dealing with a tired "preteen". Kaitlin's been resisting naps majorly lately. I can usually get her to take about two a week. The days she takes them are great. The days she doesn't not so great. Today was a nap day. . .of course she had to wake up at 5:20 AM to be willing to take one! Good luck. Your study program sounds great!
Patience seems to be key at this stage- glad you are doing what you need to to get through it un-maimed! I would have been tempted to do so many things if I got up before the girls!
good goals diana. remember i love you and can't wait to see you tonight! (: hopefully we'll have lots of time to talk and really catch up. sometimes grayson's nap schedule is off and i can totally tell a difference in his mood. it's so hard because you know that they need sleep, but they won't give in. (:
and, i love the below pictures of the kids and your little family. so cute. glad you were able to do some fun patriotic things. love you!
karli
I think that's a great way to study! It sounds very productive.
I remember that stage with Daniel, and it was very, very hard. But just remember, it won't be forever, eventually it will get better!
I really love that quote and really tried to live it in high school. I love your thoughts and the goals you are setting. You really are a great example to us all
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I think many of us feel that way sometimes- lonely and sad- at least I know I do. That is wonderful that you are being proactive about it and studying and working on having more love- for yourself and others. I hope that things get better with Kira. We went thru a long stage of that with Olivia, it's very trying. I think the best thing you can do is to overwhelm her with LOVE b/c that's usually all they need. (Not to say it's easy! but I believe it works) Good luck! See you soon
Those are great goals Diana--I know that I definitely have my own moments of sadness and loneliness. Love is a great topic to focus on because it encompasses and affects everything we do. Good luck :) I'm rooting for you!
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